Tag: psychotherapist

For forgiveness to be given it must be asked for

What is the meaning of these words? In the spiritual community everybody speaks of forgiveness. Almost as if they are such perfect creatures that they automatically forgive. Two lines of thinking lead from here. One, forgiveness is one of the toughest terms to understand. It seems understandable in terms people usually portray it in. Someone does you wrong, you forgive them and move on living a lighter life. Yet, even though it’s an easy definition that can satisfy the mind, you can feel there’s always something essential missing there. I have only reached an understanding of forgiveness after reading an unpopular eastern orthodox text on how to build back relationships. And for the first time I knew that I grasped the meaning in it’s fullness. It is clearly said there that forgiveness should be asked for and that only if it is asked for it is a building block for repairing the damaged relationships.  Also, it should not be easily given, but with truthfulness, consideration of own feelings, and the depth and truthfulness of the party that is asking for forgiveness. Although the one who is asked may forgive, they are not obliged to and the inquirer should modestly count that in but still make the sincere plea to be forgiven for his mistakes, not counting on a certain outcome. Then, we come to the true meaning of forgiveness: it is a human action which can build bridges out of ruined houses, dilapidated stones and ruined marriages. But the bricks have to be layed down carefully in order to be sturdy this time.

I hope I have transferred the meaning of it enough that you seek out the true explanation for yourself and when you do, you will surely ask for forgiveness where its needed.

If you would like to work with me to reach forgiveness, or achieve forgiveness with your partner, you may contact me at psy@ateneo.rs for a session.

Sanja Vasiljević